Past and Regrets
by grace2020
Summary: Welch told Gabby about Matt and his new fling. She decides that if Matt is moving on, then she should do the same. She agrees to have a girls' night with Brett, but Gabby then runs into someone from her past. Someone that she never wanted to see again. Matt wishes that he could take back what happened and be with Gabby again, but is it too late? Has she already moved on?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Gabby POV

Too many thoughts ran quickly through Gabby's mind as she still lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. Welch's word stung her as she did her best to fight back the tears that threatened to fall. At first, she didn't believe a word he said, until she saw the look on Matt's face as he peered down from the window. In that instant bile moved from the pit of her stomach to the back of her mouth. She couldn't just stand there like the dumbass she felt like, so she ran. She needed to get away from him; she couldn't bare to see the look on his face.

The worst part of all this, was the fact that she wanted this. She wanted to become a firefighter. She wanted to work at house 51. She wanted to work on truck 81. These were the things she wanted more than anything and she proved that by picking it over her relationship with Matt. Therefore, why was she angry at Matt for moving on? Many times she tried to answer that question but it always came back to the same answer, she still loved Matt.

"Gabby," Brett's voice sounded from the other side of the Gabby's closed bedroom door.

"Yeah," Gabby called out as she cleared her voice.

The door slowly opened and the blonde paramedic walked through the door. "So I was wondering if you had plans for tomorrow night."

"Not really," Gabby replied as she sat up in her queen size bed and stretched her tan arms in the air.

"Well, I was thinking we could go out to that new club on Lower Whacker."

Gabby raised her eyebrows before speaking, "I don't know," but before she could get anything else out, she was quickly cut off.

"Come on Dawson, we can go dancing, drink a little or perhaps a lot. We could also meet some really hot guys."

"I'm not really looking for anyone."

"I know, but you need to out of this whole Casey funk that you are in."

"I'm not," Gabby began to deny the truth, but quickly realized that Brett was not going to buy it. "It's just really hard and I'm not ready to just jump back into another relationship."

"Who said anything about a relationship? I'm talking about flirting, dancing, and may be even a little action!"

Gabby's stomach ached at the thought of action; her mind instantly went to Matt's new piece of action.

Brett's POV

Brett could tell that whatever just flashed through Gabby's mind wasn't a good thing. If she had to make an educated guess, her thoughts were of Welch's moment of honesty. Brett didn't want to pry to get the information from her, but she wanted to let her know that if she needed a friend, then she would be here for Gabby. "Look Dawson, I know that you are hurt right now, but sitting around here and hiding out isn't going to make that feeling go away. May be if you try to move on, you might actually be able to."

Gabby's expression looked almost confused as she spoke the last few lines of her short monologue. She watched as another expression of anger crossed over her roommate's strong features, "unless you don't want to be?"

Gabby's POV

Gabby's eyes flung open at the question, she knew there was no point in lying to one of the only people in this world she had left, "Matt and I didn't break up because we didn't love each other anymore or one of us cheated on the other. We broke up because we didn't communicate anymore once I started on truck. To be honest, I just thought that he would wait for me and after I completed my candidacy, then we would get back together. I know that sounded absolutely selfish, but Matt has always been my future plan, but now everything has changed."

"Not if you don't wan it to. Have you stopped to wonder why Matt slept with the chief's wife? May be he was only with her to move on from you."

Gabby didn't say anything as she let Brett's words sink in. To be honest, she had thought about that, but never really held much hope.

"I'm going to get ready for work," Brett said lifting herself off of the bed.

Gabby didn't reply as realized that in a few short hours she was going to have to deal with Matt. There would be no running for it or him, and the thought of Brett's words circled back through. Before shift, Gabby was going to make a choice, a choice that would affect the rest of her life.

Matt's POV

He couldn't get the look of Gabby's face out of his head when their eyes meant last shift. He would have given everything he has in this world to fix what was broken between them. There have been so many questions that have run through his mind and so many things wished he could change. First thing he would redo, was the night Gabby walked out. He should have told her that he loved her and they will get through anything together. But he didn't, he didn't even move from his place where he stood. He watched her leave, but once the moment she was gone, he regretted letting her go. His anger took over and before he knew what happened, his fist went through the wall.

Thinking about that night, brought back the regret he had for not stopping her, however it didn't compare to the regret he now had over sleeping with Beth.

"Morning," Severide's voice broke him out of his thoughts.

"Morning," Matt mumbled as he brought the coffee mug to his lips. He watched as Severide went straight to the refrigerator and pulled out a half full carton of orange juice. Severide then pulled a glass down form the cabinet above the sink, "Who kept you up last night?" he asked with a smirk.

"What?" Matt asked with confusion displayed over his features as he placed his warm drink on the counter top.

"You look as if you barely got any sleep."

"I didn't, I couldn't" He replied looking down at his mug.

"What's on your mind?"

Matt hesitated before answering he knew that Severide was tired of his and Gabby's issues, but he didn't want to lie. "Dawson," he simply spoke.

"I thought you were past all of that, since you and Beth."

"That was until Gabby found out form Welch last shift."

"Oh," Severide simply replied.

"Oh, that's your response?" Matt asked with wide eyes and disbelief.

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know, but you were full of advice before this whole Beth thing," Matt reminded him.

"To be honest, I didn't think you would take up on it." 

With Severide's last comment, Matt could feel his rage begin to bubble up from the pit of his stomach. "Then why would you say it?"

"I was trying to be a good friend. However, I see where it might at look that way."

"It doesn't matter," Matt breathed out as he ran his hands over his face and then through his hair. "No one forced me to sleep with Beth."

"Have you talked to Dawson yet?"

"No, I honestly don't know what to say to her. We aren't together anymore so it's not like I cheated."

"Then stop feeling so damn guilty about it. She made the choice to break things off, you did nothing wrong."

"True," Matt said nodding his head. "Bt the way she found out, I should have been the one to tell her."

"That part sucks, it really sucks, but there is nothing you can do about it."

Matt didn't say another word as he thought more about it. They weren't together and they still aren't. He did nothing wrong.

Gabby's POV

Gabby took in another deep breath as she climbed out of her car. She hoped that Bret didn't see her. She knew that if she couldn't control her facial expressions now, then it would be pointless when she saw Casey.

 _You can do this;_ she kept telling herself as she began to make her way to the short drive of the firehouse. She tried her best not to look over her shoulder when she heard the sound of another car parking on the road behind her, just incase it was Matt.

"So have you decided?" Brett asked as she kept pace with Gabby.

"About what?" confusion swept over her features.

"Going out tomorrow night," Brett reminded her.

"Oh, I still don't know, I'm still thinking about it."

"Well the good news is this offer doesn't expire," Brett teased as they continued to make their way inside.

Gabby was thankful that she hadn't run into Matt yet. She still didn't know what to say to him. Should she tell him how she really feels or do what a friend would do? After all they are supposed to be friends now. They are supposed to be co-workers.

Gabby closed her locker as she thought about how she was going to handle her situation. She began to walk out of the locker room, when her body smacked into another she could feel a pair of hands holding her place. "I'm so sorry," Gabby began to say as her eyes shot up to the person standing in front of her.

"Its fine," Welch said with his hands dropping from Gabby's shoulders.

Gabby cleared her throat not knowing what to say. A part of her wanted to sucker punch him for telling her about Matt and whatever her name is, but another part wanted to thank him for being honest with her and for not letting her walk around this place like an idiot when everyone else knew Matt had moved on.

"Dawson, I wanted to apologize about the other day. I wasn't trying to be an ass; I just wanted you to know that I believed you."

Before Gabby could respond, she glanced over at the door way to find Matt standing there looking between her and Welch with confusion displayed across his face. She paused for a moment and then looked back at Welch. "I know," she said and then turned on her heels and left the room.

Matt's POV

The air has changed at 51 since Boden has been on leave. And now that Chief Pridgen knows that he slept with his soon to be ex-wife, more then the air has changed. He could tell from the moment he walked in, and he was correct. As he walked down the hallway to the locker room, Chief Pridgen informed him that he knew about him and Beth. Matt wanted to explain, but he didn't want to listen.

As Matt made his way to his office he saw something that caught his eye, he moved closer to see Welch moving his hands from Gabby's shoulders. He couldn't hear what he was saying to her, but a rush of jealousy surged through him. Before Matt could make his presence known, Gabby's eyes meant his.

For the first time in a long time, he couldn't read her expression. What he wouldn't give to know what she was thinking and what the hell was going on. She turned to Welch, "I know," she simply stated and then walked away.

Matt wanted to follow her, he wanted to talk to her and make she was okay and apologize for everything. However, he stayed rooted in his spot until Gabby was completely out of view. Once he was sure she was gone, he turned his attention to Welch, "you know that I wasn't going to say anything about you running your fucking mouth to Gabby, but you had to run and tell Pridgen, and then I see you with Gabby again. What the hell did you say to her this time?" Matt asked as he took a step forward.

"As far as I can tell, it is none of concern," Welch said as matter of factly. "And I didn't say anything to the Chief, he must have found out the same way I did. So if you don't want people knowing your personal business, then may be you shouldn't be bringing your toys to work." Welch didn't say another word as he moved past Matt to leave. As much as Matt wanted to punch the guy, he knew that he couldn't and he knew that Welch wasn't wrong.

Matt went into his office and began to pull out paper work that he needed to be completed. He really just needed to calm himself down and take his mind off of the unreadable expression he saw on Gabby. Matt ran his hands through his hair and tried to refocus his attention. Before he could actually get started, the alarms rang out calling truck 81 and ambulance 61 to a house fire. Matt threw his pen on the table as he stood from his chair and headed to the apparatus floor.

Gabby's POV

After clearing and putting out the simple house fire they were called to, Gabby began to head back towards the truck.

"Dawson," she heard Matt say as he came up to her and began to walk with her.

"Yes Lieutenant." She could tell that whatever he wanted to say had nothing to do with work. Which meant this was a discussion about him and the chief's wife.

"I wanted to talk to you about what Welch told you the other day," he paused for a second before he continued; "I wanted to apologize to you."

Gabby took a moment before speaking; this was the moment she had to decide how she was going to handle this. Was she going to be the crazy ex-girlfriend or his co-worker/friend? "You don't need to apologize to me, we are not together anymore Casey. We are both free to do what we when we want."

"So you are okay with this?"

"Yeah, I am," she hoped that Matt couldn't see that she was lying. She was the farthest things from okay. They stood there for a moment longer before speaking, until Matt was called away from one of the guys. Gabby turned taking a breath and was begun to put her things away.

Once they pulled into the garage, Gabby went and found Brett in the common room, "So what time do you want to leave tomorrow night?"

Author's Note

Please let me know what you think of this story so far, should I continue? Thank you for reading.

Grace


	2. Chapter 2

Before Chapter Two begins, I want to say thank you to all the reviews I received this story. I am so happy that you like it and I hope that you will stick around as the story continues. If you have a moment, please review this chapter and let me know what you think, I enjoy reading your feedback.

Thank you,

Grace

Chapter Two

Gabby's POV

Gabby tried on almost every dress in her closet. She looked around her once clean room and sighed in frustration, she had nothing to wear tonight. No matter what dress she put on, she found something wrong with it. The cut of the dress was too low, it didn't fit right, or worse of all, it held a memory of the one person she wanted to forget.

She glanced over at the black dress that draped over her bed. It was a reminder of their first night together, how he kissed her when she opened the front door of her apartment. That night held so much promise for them, but how quickly everything changed. Gabby quickly ran her hand through her hair, hoping to dismiss the memory of how their relationship started, but when she turned back to her closet she found the purple dress Shay helped her pick out for the Christmas party a few years ago. The Christmas party she took Matt to as a date. It was their first actual date; it was also the night he pulled away from her as leaned in to kiss him. God, she felt like a fucking fool that night. She put herself out there and he denied her.

She couldn't help but think how that night felt much like finding out he had slept with someone else. Over the years no one has made her feel as happy as Matt, but no one had hurt as much as him. It was a horrible cycle that she was involved in and it needed to end.

"Brett," Gabby hollered as she opened her bedroom door. "I have nothing to wear tonight!"

Brett stepped out of her own room, "I'm sure you have something in here," she remarked moving past Gabby. "Wow! Did your closet explode?" she asked looking around the room.

"Something like that," she replied still frustrated at not having anything to wear.

"How about this one?" Brett asked holding up a red dress with an open back.

"Not tonight," Gabby replied. She liked that dress, but knew that it would provide her with too much male attention, something she didn't need or want at the moment. She knew that needed to move on from Matt, but sex wasn't going to fix the broken pieces of her heart.

Brett then grabbed a dark green dress from the closet, "This is a great little number," she held it up.

Gabby shook her head no.

"I guess that leaves us with one option, we need to go shopping."

"Alright," Gabby replied knowing buying a new dress was really her only option. She also felt that in someway, buying a new dress might help her make a new life in some small way.

Matt's POV

He had just gotten home from a repair job when Severide talked him into going out tonight, with nothing else to do he agreed. When he first arrived with Kelly, all the guys from 51 had been waiting for them. They immediately joined their friends and ordered the first round of drinks. Matt sat at the bar at as he took another drink of his cold beer. His eyes kept searching for a certain brunette; as he listened to the guys go back and forth telling stories and jokes.

"She's not here," Severide said as he took another drink.

"What?" Matt asked trying his best to play it cool.

"Dawson and Brett are doing a girls' night or so I was told."

"When did you become the firehouse gossip?" Matt asked with a smirk.

"I just heard Otis telling Cruz that they are a little short handed tonight because Dawson's out."

"Why are you telling me, Dawson and I are just friends, remember?" Matt stated taking another drink.

"So you can stop looking for her."

"I wasn't," Matt replied, taking another quick drink, causing Severide to chuckle.

"You need to stop feeling so damn guilty. One of you was bound to move on, you just did it first."

"You're right," he nodded his head in agreement.

"Great, because there are some lovely looking women behind us, I say we go over there and introduce ourselves."

Matt hesitated a moment before looking behind him. Both women were beautiful, but they weren't who he wanted. But Severide was right; it was time to move on. He finished his beer and then followed Severide.

Gabby's POV

"I'm sorry," Gabby told Brett for the one hundredth time as Brett parked her car in front of Molly's.

"It is not a big deal," she reassured her with a wave of her hand.

"I just can't believe I left my driver's licenses here last night," Gabby groaned as she unbuckled the seat belt and then opened the door. "I'll be back in two minutes top."

"I'm timing you!" Brett called out as Gabby climbed out of the car and made her way around the front of it.

Gabby knew that Brett didn't mind the stop, but she felt completely guilty. For one she knew that her friend really wanted to step outside the normal routine, and second of all she told Otis that she wasn't able to work because of her plans with Brett. However, here was because her lack of memory.

She pulled open the dark wood door and stepped inside the familiar place. A sense of pride always came over her when she walked into the place her Otis and Hermann built. Gabby walked right to the bar. "Hey Otis," she called out to him.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were going a girls' night?"

"I am, but I left my ID here the other night."

"Where is it? I have to run to back to grab another case of beer; I'll grab it for you."

"Thanks, it should be in the cabinet on the second shelf."

"Be right back," he said placing the white towel from his shoulder to the counter top.

"Thanks," Gabby shouted to him as he walked away. She wasn't sure if he heard her or not. She turned around and leaned against the bar looking around at all the costumers, some were regulars others she had never seen before.

As Gabby was about to turn back around her eyes landed on a particular blonde male. A small smile began to stretch over her lips as she watched him laughing. God, how she missed that laugh. She stood there in admiration, until the person to his left moved allowing Gabby to see who Matt was laughing with.

Her heart stopped beating as she stood there frozen realizing that he was with someone. She wanted to run away, but her body wouldn't move, her eyes wouldn't turn away. Pain ceased her heart and ran through her entire body. To know that he was moving on was one thing, but to actually see it was another. She also couldn't help but see that he looked so carefree, a look she hadn't seen on him in a long time.

"Gabby," Otis called her name from behind the bar. She turned back around and could tell that it wasn't the first time he called her name. He stood there holding out her ID for her.

"Are you sure I can't get you to help out tonight?"

"Not a chance," Gabby chuckled as she took her ID. "Have a good night."

"You too," Otis smiled.

Gabby made her way towards the door. As she pushed the door open, she took one last look over her shoulder. Her eyes landed on a pair of blue ones that were staring straight back at her. A sharp intake of air past back over her lips as she realized that she had been spotted by the one person she wanted to avoid. Without thinking Gabby moved her attention to the girl sitting across from him. She was a reminder that Matt was moving on. Gabby didn't wait a second longer before stepping through the open door, stepping away from her past.

Matt's POV

Matt didn't know how long he had been sitting her with Severide and these girls; he just knew that this was not what he wanted. Sure, he was having fun, but he knew that nothing would go past tonight. He wanted more, and either of these two were what he wanted or needed.

Matt took another drink of his beer. His eyes glanced above to see the score of the game that was on TV, he was happy to see that Chicago was winning, but as he tried to watch he heard someone calling out Gabby's name. He instantly began looking around for her, he knew that she wasn't working tonight, but he couldn't help it. When ever he heard her name he always searched for her, it was a natural reaction. Just as he was about to give up on his quest, he located her. She was moving away from the bar to the door.

He was hypnotized by the way her body moved in that tight dark colored dress. Her hair was down to her shoulders with a natural curl, the look he loved most. His breath lodged in the back of his throat as he continued to roam her body and way it was displayed. She looked absolutely stunning. A sense of wanting overcame him as she reached the door.

Before he could even think, she turned and looked directly at him. He held her eye contact for what seemed like hours, but in reality was only seconds. Gabby was the first to look away, she glared over him and her expression hardened. Matt quickly followed her eyes to see what cause the interruption. His eyes grew wide when he realized what she saw. His heart rate picked up and he instantly got to his feet.

He needed to tell Gabby that it wasn't what it looked like, but when he turned around to tell her, she was gone.

Gabby's POV

"Did you find it?" Brett asked as Gabby climbed back into the passenger side and quickly buckled her seatbelt.

"Yup," She simply answered, her mind was on what she just saw.

Brett pulled the car away from the curb, "are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She didn't want to really get into this with Brett right now. If she talked about Matt and the girl in the bar, she would break down in tears. _Keep your eyes forward,_ she told herself as the car kept moving forward. She didn't want Brett to know that she hiding something.

"I'm so excited," Brett began to say as she turned left. "It has been a long time since I've had a girls' night."

"Same here," Gabby agreed with a nod of her head. This was the first time she had actually gone out since her break up. May be this was what she needed, may be she should follow Matt's lead.

When they arrived at the club, Gabby could hear the dance music from the dark building filling the streets. The line to get in wasn't too long, but that is because they got there a little earlier. As they waited, Gabby listened to Brett talk about her excitement and her break up with Cruz. Gabby had been so wrapped up in her own issues, she forgot about Brett and Cruz breaking up.

Once inside, Gabby headed straight to the bar. If she was going to get through the night she would need alcohol in large amounts.

Matt's POV

The rest of the night Matt sat at the bar by himself. He couldn't believe how many times he had fucked up with Gabby. He knew what she said the other day about them being friends, but he didn't want to be friends with her. Since the moment she came into his life, he felt something for her. Matt took another drink from his almost empty bottle, lost in thought over tonight's incident.

"Casey," Severide said as he came and sat on the stool next to him. "Why aren't you over there?" he nodded his head in the direction of the table behind him, the table he left a while ago.

"I saw Gabby," Matt stated setting his bottle down on the counter. He knew that Severide wouldn't understand, he could see it on his face.

"Tonight?"

"Yeah, she was here, long enough to see me with those girls."

"Are you sure it was her?"

Matt turned and scrunched his face in disbelief over what he just asked him, "Are you really asking me that?"

"I just wanted to make sure your mind wasn't playing tricks on you."

Matt let out a short breath of air, "It was here, she looked directly at me. When I realized that she thought I was here with one of those girls, I wanted to explain, but she was already gone."

"Matt I know this sucks, because the two of you work together, but you both agreed to be friends…"

Matt quickly cut him off, "you don't get it, I don't want to just be friends with her."

Gabby's POV

Gabby lost track of how many drinks she had. She really didn't care for the first time in a long time, she was completely free. She didn't have to worry about a broken relationship or her career path. Tonight she got to be a young carefree Gabby. She lifted her hands in the air as her hips swayed to whatever song was playing, causing Brett to laugh at her antics.

A she continued to move to the beat, a pair of hands rested on her hips, drawing her into his body. She instantly stopped moving at the contact.

"Hey baby," the voice whispered into her ear. She feels his breath against her neck as he spoke. Without turning around, Gabby walked off the dance floor. As free as she felt, she didn't want some asshole touching her.

She went directly to the bar and ordered herself a drink. As she waited for the bartender to make it, she began looking around. Everyone near her seemed to be involved in a conversation. She waited patiently, but then felt a slight tap on her right shoulder. Thinking that it was Brett, Gabby turned around with a smile. But when her eyes set on the person now standing in front of her, her eyes widen and jaw slightly opened.

"Gabriela Dawson," he said with a sly smile.

"Caleb," Gabby said with surprise in her voice. Without thinking, Gabby pulled back her right fist and clocked him in the face.


	3. Chapter 3

Hello to all you great readers and Chicago Fire fans. I know that I haven't updated in a long time, but life has been busy over the last nine months. I actually had this chapter written months ago, but forgot to publish it. I hope you enjoy it!

Chapter Three

Gabby's POV

"What was that about last night?" Brett asked as she walked into the kitchen from her bedroom.

Gabby had been avoiding this conversation since the moment she walked away from Caleb and told Brett that they needed to leave. Brett tried to ask a million questions, but Gabby ignored her as she pulled her out of the crowded bar and onto the nearly emptied street.

Gabby couldn't believe she had run into Caleb, she never wanted to see him again. When she heard through some friends that he had left town, she was broken, but then she quickly realized how grateful she was that he was gone, he was out of her life forever.

"Gabby," Brett slowly called out her name, drawing her back into reality and out of her thoughts.

"What?" Gabby asked knowing she had been caught.

"Who was that guy at the bar last night? You know the one you punched," She asked with a raised eyebrow and look of complete interest.

"He was just somebody that I use to know," Gabby shrugged her shoulders and moved to the coffee maker hoping that would be enough information. She didn't want to have this conversation, she didn't want to explain to anyone what happened over ten years ago. "Do you want some coffee?"

"Way to change the subject," Brett pointed out.

"I'm not trying to change the subject; I just wanted to know if you wanted coffee."

"By changing the subject," Brett retorted with a smirk.

"Do you want some damn coffee?" Gabby raised her voice and slammed the coffee mug down on the counter with a sigh of frustration.

"Yeah, sure," Brett replied realizing how upset Gabby was over the topic.

"Sorry," Gabby apologized as she took in a deep breath. "I just don't want to talk about what happened. I just want to forget it. Forget all of it."

"I understand," Brett said with a slight nod of her head and a small smile, to let Gabby know she got it. "But if you ever want to talk about anything, I'm here for you, mermaids."

Gabby smiled, "Mermaids," she replied taking a drink of her coffee. She knew that Brett didn't mean anything by her questions, she just wanted to know what was going on, but there were some things that Gabby wanted to leave in the past. One of those things happened to be Caleb Vega.

"Alright Rocky, I'm going to get ready for work. Do you want to ride in together?"

"Um, yeah that sounds good," Gabby nodded her head as she placed her empty mug on the counter. Without another word, Gabby turned and walked out of the kitchen. Since the moment Brett brought Caleb back up, a twisted knot ached her stomach. As much as she wanted to believe that Caleb was going to stay in the pass, she knew that wasn't a possibility now. She took a deep breath as she passed through her open door frame and into her bedroom to get ready for a long day.

Matt's POV

Matt climbed out of his tan truck as he looked around for a certain car he had been hoping to see. He slung his bag over his shoulder as he walked up the driveway of house 51. Disappointment flushed through him when he didn't see Gabby's car, but it was quickly dulled when he saw Brett's car parked further down the street.

"Moring Lieutenant," a voice called out to him. Matt turned around to see Herrmann catching up to him.

"Morning," he answered back. He waited until they were shoulder to shoulder before he took another step.

"So out of all of us, you must be glad that Boden is back."

Matt did his best to keep his personal business out of the firehouse, but everyone knew about him and Chief Pridget getting into it last shift and everything else that happened after. All the guys in the house did their best to show they didn't know why, but they did, he could read it in their eyes.

"I'm glad that Boden is right where he should be," Matt simply stated keeping annoyance out of his voice. He didn't want to rehash how Pridget tried to throw him under the bus after finding out about him and Beth. It was also the same day him and Gabby talked. However, last night at the bar he should have talked to her, he should have followed her out the door and told her that he was sorry and that he didn't want Beth or any other girl.

"Casey, I have been meaning to ask you if you would be up for a construction job?" Herrmann asked as he adjusted his bag in his hand.

"Sure, what do you have in mind?"

"Otis, Dawson, and I were thinking about some minor reinventions around Molly's."

"Sure, I've got some free time," Matt stated as he gave a quick nod of his head to show that he was up for the challenge.

"Great, do you think that you could swing by after shift tomorrow, so we can do a run down of the place?"

"Yeah, that won't be a problem." Matt knew that he should have asked Gabby first if she was okay with this, but part of him didn't want to give her the chance to say no. Besides, she said that they were friends, so it shouldn't bother her. Matt continued to listen to Herrmann and his ideas for the bar as they walked into the locker room. His eye swept the room for the petite burnet, but was let down when she was nowhere to be found. Only the guys stood around getting ready for shift.

He went straight to his locker and put his duffle bag into the long narrow space. His mind allowing him to think of one thing.

"Hey guys, Boden wants us to meet in the conference room before shift starts," Otis said as he closed his locker and began making his way out of the room.

Matt just nodded his head as he changed into his uniform. He was working on clearing his mind from thinking about Gabby and how he was going to explain why he was at Molly's the other night. He knew that he didn't need to explain anything to her, she was the one that ended things between them, but he needed her to know the truth. However, right now wasn't the time to hash all this stuff out with her, they both needed to be focused on the job.

Once Matt was changed, he made his way into the conference room. He sat in the empty seat next to Severide near the back of the room. His eyes instantly fell onto to Gabby, who was sitting on the opposite side of the room. She was laughing with Cruz and Otis. _It was good to see her laugh like that_ , Matt thought as he continued to watch her tuck a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Good morning," Boden called out to everyone to draw their attention as he made his way into the front of the room. "I first want to say thank you for everything each of you has done since my leave of absence. I know that each and everyone of you stepped up when this house needed you the most. I also want to thank you for all the support you have given me and my family, you truly are the best firehouse in the city of Chicago." Boden took a moment before speaking again, "I also wanted to inform you that city is sending some inspectors from the CFD. They just want to see how we operate. I expect everyone go on normally and we shouldn't have any issues. Have a good shift, dismissed."

Gabby POV

As Gabby listened to Boden, her thoughts kept drifting to last night and seeing Caleb. She tried to distract herself as much as she could by joking around with the guys, but the sinking feeling in her stomach wasn't allowing her to do so. Her mind kept circling around the same thoughts and questions. Out of all the places that he could be in the city of Chicago, he picks the same place as her. And what was he doing back? The last time she heard about Caleb Vega, he was living in New York City. She hoped that was the last time that she would ever see him, but something deep inside her told her that wasn't going to be the case.

Gabby took in a deep breath as she got up from the chair, and began to move around the table. She needed to focus on her job and not worry about some asshole from her past.

"Dawson," a voice called out to her before she left the room. She turned around to see Matt standing about two feet away from her.

"Yeah?" Gabby replied as she cleared her throat. She was instantly reminded of Matt with another girl the other night. Her stomach tightened even more with that thought. Not only did she get to run into someone she absolutely hated, she got to watch him move on. She knew that Matt probably wanted to talk about what happened at the bar. She couldn't do this now; she couldn't rehash the same conversation. She couldn't lie to Matt again about them being just friends. She had already done it once, wasn't once enough?

Matt's POV

"I wanted to talk to you about Molly's," he stated knowing that at the moment this wasn't the right time, but he didn't want to wait any longer. He needed her to know that what she saw last night wasn't what she thought. But something changed inside of him in the moment. It may have been the look on her face or the way her eyes grew a little wider than normal. "I wanted to make sure that you were okay with me doing the reinventions at Molly's? Herrmann told me that you guys wanted some work done."

"Yeah," Gabby replied as she nodded her head and directed her eyes towards the floor for a second. "I'm okay with it."

"Good. I also want you…" but before Matt could finish his sentence they were interrupted.

"Dawson," Mouch called out to her as he stood in the doorway. Both pair of eyes moved to the figure, "you have a visitor on the apparatus floor".

"Thanks," Gabby spoke softly as she walked closer to the door. She didn't turn back around or say anything as she left Matt standing there.

Gabby's POV

Gabby pushed open the two metal doors as she made her way towards the unexpected visitor. She could feel Matt behind her with every step she took, but instead of following her onto the drive, he went over to the truck with the rest of the guys to check the gear and clean out the truck.

As she walked through the open garage doors, she could see a tall figure standing with his back to her. A feeling of nausea hit her stomach; she knew instantly that it was Caleb. "What the hell are you doing here?" she shouted causing him to turn around and drawing the attention of all the eyes of house 51. She knew that she was going to see him again, but not here at work.

"Gabby," he begun to say.

Listening to her name come from his mouth after everything he has done to her makes her blood boil and course through her entire body. "Don't Gabby me! How did you find me?"

"Antonio told me."

"You're so full of shit, if Antonio knew you were back in town he would kill you! Come to think of it, we should give him a call," Gabby smirks. 

"Would you just listen to me?!" he shouts at her.

"No!" She shouts back at him and before she knows it she is pushing him with every amount of anger she has inside of her. "You need to go! You need to get out of here and don't come back ever!"

As she goes to push him one last time to prove her point, she feels a pair of arms wrap around her torso pulling her back and away from Caleb and watches as Matt jumps in the middle standing face to face with Caleb.

"You need to get the fuck out of here," Matt tells him with an almost too calm voice.

"This has nothing to do you with you," Caleb says not backing down.

"Get the fuck out of here or I will remove you," Matt states again with the same tone of voice. They stand that way for what seemed like hours, but really was only seconds. Caleb looks around to see the rest of the firehouse standing behind Matt. He then takes a step back.

"Fine, have it your way Gabriella," he says as he turns his attention to her and stares at her for a moment and then walks to his car. It's not until his car is out of view, does Gabby take in a breath of air.

"Dawson are you okay?" Severide asks first with his arm still around her.

She knows that everyone is watching her, waiting for her to say something. But there are no words to explain what just happened. She looks to each worried face, and doing her best avoiding Matt's. She knows that if he gets one good look into her eyes, then he will know that she is not okay.

"I'm fine," she replies taking in a deep breath.

"Who is that guy?" Otis asks with confusion written all over his face.

"No one," She stated as she tucked her hair behind her ears and moved quickly towards the firehouse. She needed to get away from everyone before the question started. There were parts of her past that she just wanted to forget and Caleb Vega was one of them.

So that is the end of the chapter three, I'm not sure if anyone is actually following this story anymore, but if you are tell me what you think. Thanks for reading, Grace.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey Chicago Fire fans, I have been feeling a little inspired lately. Here is the next chapter and I hope you all like it.

Matt POV

He didn't know what to think as he watched Gabby walk away not really speaking to anyone. His mind raced around what he just witnessed. He heard Gabby yelling no from the driveway. His curiosity and protective instinct took over along with everyone else. He watched Gabby began to yell again for him to leave as she pushed him with all of her strength. Matt instantly propelled forward, he didn't care about anything in this moment, just the fact that Gabby needed him.

Once the guy left and Matt knew Gabby was safe, he turned to her. He needed answers, he needed to know what the hell was going on, but most importantly he needed to know that she was okay. He opened his mouth to speak, but was quickly silenced when she stated that she was fine. Matt knew instantly she was lying. This was Gabby's MO, when something happened or something was brothering her, she would give short answers; just enough to get everyone off of her back. Her eyes refused to meet his; this was an obvious tale that she was the farthest things from fine.

Matt stood rooted in his place on the cement drive even after Gabby's figure could no longer be seen. He took in a couple of deep breaths in hopes to calm himself and his beating heart. He needed to release his anger before talking to Gabby. If she told him that this asshole hurt her in anyway, he would find him and kill him.

He could sense that everyone was now staring at him in hopes that he had some answers to who this jackhole was. He couldn't handle their gazes, when he didn't know what just happened. He turned on his heals and began to follow in the direction that Gabby went.

He knew where she would be; there were only so many hiding places in firehouse of this size. With each step he took his mind raced a mile a minute. He kept envisioning the look on Gabby's face when she was out there, he had never seen her like that before and he absolutely hated it.

He neared the last shower stall at the end of the short hallway. The blue curtain pulled completely closed, unlike all the others. He reached his hand to the curtain and wrapped his fingers around the material.

"Go away," Gabby's voice pierced the silence that had settled in the room, causing Matt to release his hold and drop his hand to side of his leg.

"I can't do that," he spoke truthfully. He knew that in times like this Gabby preferred to be alone.

"Please just leave," her voice carried.

Matt could hear what sounded like desperation in her voice mixed with a tone of pleading, but he couldn't just walk away from her.

"Gabby what ever is going on with this guy, I want you to know that you can talk to me. I'm here for you." He knew that her actually telling him about this mess was a long shot, but he had to try. He needed her to know that no matter what, he was always going to be there for her. He stood there silently for a few seconds waiting for a reply, but he heard nothing from the other side of the thin material. "I'm not leaving," he stated as he folded his arms over his chest.

"Fine," Gabby shouted sharply as she threw open the only barrier that was separating them. "If you won't leave then I will."

She began to walk past him, but he reached out for her arm, "Just talk to me damn it."

She moved out of his reach once contact had been made. "What do you want to know?" her eyes growing a little wider.

He wanted to know so many things, but he knew that he couldn't push her; if he did she would walk away from him. His biggest concern was her wellbeing, "I want to know that you are safe."

Gabby's POV

Gabby knew that Matt was worried about her; she could see it on his face and in his eyes. Part of her wanted to tell him everything, but the other part of her knew that once she told him about Caleb it would lead to her past and the things that she did her best to forget.

"I will be okay," Gabby told him. She knew this was vague answer to his question, but it was the best that she could come with. She also knew that wasn't really the answer he wanted to hear.

"Who was that guy?"

"Matt can we just leave it alone, please?"

"I don't think we can," he replied looking down at his hands, but before he could say anything else Chief Boden stepped into the room, causing Matt to close his mouth and divert his eyes away from Gabby.

"Dawson, are you okay?" he asked

"Yeah, I'm good Chief," she said with a nod of her head. May be if she said it enough, everyone would start to believe her.

Chief didn't look like he was buying it. "What is going on Gabriella?"

"It's nothing Chief, just somebody that I use to know from my childhood."

"If he comes back here, I won't hesitate calling CPD."

Gabby simply nodding her head to show the Chief that she understood. Before another word could be spoken between the three of them, the bells called out reminding hem that there was an outside world.

Gabby was the first one to move towards the open doorway. She needed to get out of there before either Boden or Casey could ask any more questions or suggest that she sit this one out. She wasn't ready to explain anymore than she already had.

As she made her way to the truck, she could feel all the eyes on her, a feeling that she never did like. Nobody said a word as they climbed into the truck. Gabby took a deep breath and began to focus on the job. Otis pulled the truck out of the firehouse and towards the call.

Matt POV

During each call, Matt watched Gabby closely for the rest of the shift. As her lieutenant he needed to make sure that her head was in the right place. As the man that was completely in love with her, he needed to make she that was safe. It wasn't until his conversation with Brett did he really begun to worry. She told him about the bar and how Gabby had punched the guy. Which lead him to next decision, after truck 81 got back from their last call of the day; Matt took out his cell phone and called the one person that could help him reach Gabby.

He sat in a booth at a diner with a hot coffee in his hand as he waited for Antonio to arrive. In a way, he felt as if he was going behind her back, but he knew that Gabby wasn't going to tell him anything.

"Hey man," he heard Antonio's voice call from behind him. Matt turned around to see the tall dark haired man moving towards him. Antonio took a seat in the booth across from Matt and then shook his hand. "Long time no see," Antonio said with a smirk.

"Yeah, it's been awhile," Matt agreed.

"So what can I help you with?" Antonio asked straight to the point.

"You know that Gabby and I aren't together anymore?" Matt asked wanting to clear the air.

"Yeah, she mentioned that to me a little while back, but I'm not sure why you asked me here."

"Today on shift this guy showed up on shift, he and Gabby got into an argument, which ended with her pushing and yelling at him. Then Brett told me later, that he was the same guy Gabby ran into at the bar during their girls' night. I just have a real bad feeling about this."

"What did Gabby say about this?"

"She said she is fine and that it's just some guy from her childhood," Matt noticed that Antonio's express changed when he mentioned her childhood. "But I think there's more that what she is saying."

"What did this guy look like?" Antonio asked.

"He was Hispanic and tall, that was all I saw."

"Was his name Caleb Vega?" he asked with narrow eyes.

"Who is Caleb Vega?" Matt asked knowing that who ever this guy was Antonio didn't want him around his sister.

"Gabby never talked to you about Caleb?" Antonio asked sounding a little surprised.

"No, she never mentioned that name," Matt stated as he tried to think back to many of their conversations about their childhood. "Who is he?" Matt asked again feeling his patience begin to slip away.

"Matt I know that you and Gabby are not on the best of terms right now, but if she wanted you to know she would have told you. But I will tell you that he is the last person that Gabby needs to see."

"Did he hurt her?" Matt asked just needing to hear the words.

"Yes, but not the way you're thinking. If he would have, he wouldn't be walking around today."

Gabby POV

"That was a great save today," Herrmann said as he passed a shot over to Gabby. She gave him a small smile as she accepted the gold colored whiskey and threw back the smooth liquor.

"Thanks," she said as she set the empty glass down on the dark wooden counter.

Since Casey and Boden found her in the bathroom, no one brought up the incident with Caleb. She could tell everyone wanted to know what the hell happened, not because they wanted in on the drama, but because they all genuinely cared about her. She could tell that they were waiting for her to break down or something based on how they watched her or even talked to her. Part of her wanted to yell, but she knew that it was all coming from a place of love.

As she moved around behind the bar she could feel Matt's eyes on her. He had been watching her on and off since the moment he arrived at the bar. She even caught him staring a few times, and he would give her a tight lipped smile. She could feel him and everyone else hovering over her, without the actual hovering. She should have known that he wasn't going to let this go.

"Hey Herrmann," Gabby called out as she placed another dirty glass into the bin, "I need to step out for a moment."

"Are you okay kid?" he asked with instant concern in his features.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just need to get something out of my car," Gabby lied. She just needed a few minutes of fresh air and away from the stares.

"Go ahead, I'm good," he said as he filled up a beer for Severide.

Gabby didn't waste anytime as she grabbed her car keys and made her way towards the front door of Molly's.

The cool Chicago air struck her face instantly as she stepped down the stone stairs of the bar and onto the pavement. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, as she stepped away from the bar. When she opened her eyes back up a familiar figure stood in front of her.

"I thought I made myself very clear," Gabby stated with annoyance laced throughout her voice.

"I know and I'm sorry," Caleb began to say, but was quickly cut off by Gabby raising her voice.

"You're always sorry!"

"Gabby I know that I have hurt you…"

"You have no idea what you have done to me!" 

"We can talk about it," he began to say.

"You want to talk about it? You really want to talk about it? Okay let's talk about how you got me pregnant and left me to deal with it!"

"Gabby, I was a kid!" 

"So was I! I was fucking seventeen years old and scared to death!" Tears began to roll down Gabby's cheeks, she did her best to fight them back, but it was no use. "Did you know that I waited for you outside that abortion clinic for over three hours? For three fucking hours, because you promised me that I wouldn't be alone, but I was. I was completely alone, because you never showed. You were the one person in the world that I needed and you weren't there!"

"Gabs," he began to say as he moved closer to her.

"Don't," Gabby shouted as she held her hand up to stop him in his place. "Don't come near me and don't call me Gabs. That girl doesn't exist anymore. She died that day and thank god she did, because it made me realize that I don't ever need anyone ever again. So I want you to go and never come back," as the tears continued to roll down her face, Gabby turned around to go back to Molly's, but to her surprise Matt, Herrmann, Severide, Brett, and Otis were standing there looking directly at her and Caleb.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Matt POV

Sitting at the bar and watching Gabby, reminded Matt of so many nights they shared before they broke up. She would work behind the counter as he would hang out until her shift ended. If their friends were around, then they might hang out a little while longer throwing back a few, but if no one was around they would just head straight home. He used to love just being with her, hell just being around her. Every time his wondering eye landed on her tonight, the feeling of shame and regret took over his body. He knew that he messed everything up; he should have fought for her. He should never have slept with Beth. Sometimes the realization that he would have to live without her, struck him so hard that he forgot how to breathe. If he could take it all back it would. He would tell her the truth; and the truth was that she was his everything, his world.

Matt had to look away as the pang struck him again. There was no scene in dwelling on the things he couldn't change. He had to remind himself that the only thing he should be focusing on was how to get past this.

"Casey," a voice called out to him, drawing him out of his thoughts. He turned to his right to see Severide approaching with a beer in his hand.

"Hey man," Matt greeted him with a nod of his head.

"How long have you been here?" Severide asked as he brought the glass bottle to his lips.

"Not long," Matt replied knowing that Severide wasn't buying his lie.

"You know she is okay, right?"

"I know that to most people she is tough and they would be right, but I'm not most people. I know that there is more going on then she is letting on." Matt didn't mean to blurt out all of his thoughts, but he needed to talk to someone.

"What are you saying?" Severide asked with a change in his tone.

Matt took in a breath knowing that this was going to be a long conversation, "I talked to Antonio this morning, and he told me that his guy isn't someone that should be hanging around Gabby."

"Did he say that he is dangerous or something?" Severide's eyebrows rose at his own question and his facial features narrowed.

"No, he just said that he is someone from Gabby's past."

Severide's visibly relaxed with Matt's answer. "Well you and I know that Dawson is a big girl and she can handle herself," Severide reminded him as he took another drink of his beer.

"I know, but I just want to make sure she is okay."

"I get it."

Matt didn't say anything else as his eyes drifted to the movements of the burnet that capture all of his thoughts. He could tell that something was different, that her mind was elsewhere. The way she interacted with patrons and friends, was at a distance. She was not her normal self. It took everything inside of him not to walk right up to her and wrap her warm body in his embrace. But Matt had to live with the fact he was no longer that person for Gabby, he was no longer the person she shared her thoughts and struggles with. Even after the night they broke up, he may have had a chance, but after sleeping with someone else, it ruined what any hope he had of reconnecting with her.

"Go talk to her," Severide stated. "I can't sit here all damn night watching as you pull splinters out of your ass from all this pinning."

Matt opened his jaw to protest his friend's observation, but quickly closed it; he knew that Kelly had a point. Without another word, Matt climbed to his feet from the wooden stool that he sat perched on. He grabbed his still cold beer from the table and began to make his way to the bar counter. With each step, his eyes scanned the back of the bar for Gabby. His face surrendered into confusion when he discovered she was no longer there.

"Can I help you Lieutenant?" Herrmann asked when Matt reached the point of his destination.

"Um, can I get another beer?" he asked holding up his half full one.

"Sure thing," Herrmann replied reaching back behind him and into the cooler. "She just stepped out," he replied placing the bottle in front of Matt.

"Thanks," Matt said as he grabbed the neck of the bottle and began to walk back to his table. Before he could take a seat he heard someone scream. Without thinking he rushed to the loud noise outside of the bar with the rest of the guys right behind him.

Panic surged through his already rigid body, but once he saw the scene unfolding in front of him, his panic turned rapidly into rage. He began to propel his body towards the asshole that didn't have any business or right to be anywhere near Gabby. If he was successful on getting his hands on this piece of shit, there would be no stopping him.

As he moved forward, mid-spring from his position on the sidewalk, Gabby's shouting caused him to stop in his tracks.

"You want to talk about it? You really want to talk about it? Okay let's talk about how you got me pregnant and left me to deal with it!" She shouted.

Matt froze in his spot; his blood stopped pumping throughout his body. His mind went completely blank as he watched the two of them.

"Gabby, I was a kid!" Caleb shouted at her. 

"So was I! I was fucking seventeen years old and scared to death!" Matt could hear her voice begin to crack. "Did you know that I waited for you outside that abortion clinic for over three hours? For three fucking hours, because you promised me that I wouldn't be alone, but I was. I was completely alone, because you never showed. You were the one person in the world that I needed and you weren't there!" Matt was mixed with so many emotions and questions. He wanted to move from his spot and comfort her, but at the same time was completely hurt that she never told him any of this.

"Gabs," Caleb almost whispered as he moved closer to her. Matt began to take a step towards him, to stop him from getting any closer to her.

"Don't," Gabby shouted as she held her hand up, not only stopping Caleb, but Matt as well. "Don't come near me and don't call me Gabs. That girl doesn't exist anymore. She died that day and thank god she did, because it made me realize that I don't ever need anyone ever again. So I want you to go and never come back."

Matt wanted to move or say something, but he remained frozen. He wasn't sure if he heard her right.

She then turned around with tears streaming down her face. Shock now replaced the traces of anger prevalent in her strong features. He knew by the way her eyes moved to him that he had heard her correctly.

Gabby

She stood there for a moment unsure of how much they all heard, but by the tension built in the air, she knew that they heard exactly what she had been hiding. Her eyes then connected with the one person she wished was never standing there. Gabby couldn't read Matt's expression, she couldn't breath, and she just needed to get out of there.

Without saying a word, she turned back around and began to move quickly away from the people that stood there watching her. She could faintly hear them call her name, as she moved farther away from them. She didn't want to talk about it; she didn't want to see the look of pity on all of their faces. She just needed to get the hell away from everyone.

Gabby ran as far as she could. She ran until she couldn't breathe anymore. She didn't even realize where she had run to, until she was walking through the steel red doors. Her eyes didn't need to search the walls; she knew exactly what she was looking for. Once she stood in front of her desired destination, her finger tips reached out and began to trace the letters in Shay's name.

In times like these, Gabby needed her best friend. She needed Shay to tell her what to do. "Hey," Gabby spoke in a whispered as she did her best to formulate her words. She wiped her fallen tears with the back of her hand. "I really need you right now. I thought that I had dealt with all of this shit years ago, but I guess I haven't." Gabby choked out another breath as she continued, "I feel like I am still that teenager lost and alone. With you being gone Shay, I feel like I have no one that I truly can depend on." Gabby began to cry harder, "I feel like everything is just falling apart."

Matt POV

"Thanks Antonio," Matt said with a tone of desperation laced in his voice.

"So what did he say?" Herrmann asked with his armed folded over his chest and an anxious look on his face. Just like everyone else, he wanted to find Gabby and make sure she was okay.

"He said that he hasn't heard from her all night, and that he will go looking for her," Matt said as he slammed his phone down and then ran his other hand over his face. He couldn't get the look of Gabby's face out of his mind when she turned around. She looked broken, lost, and embarrassed by her outburst in front of everyone she worked with.

"I'll try calling her again," Herrmann said as he took his own phone out of his pocket.

"Don't bother," Otis stated as he moved closer to the bar from the back room. "All of her stuff is here," he stated holding up her purse, keys, and jacket.

"I'm going to go home and see if she turns up there," Brett stated.

"Can you give me a call if she is there?" Matt asked.

"Sure," Brett said with a soft smile, and then walked out.

Everyone sat in silence not wanting to say the wrong thing. Matt didn't want to go home; he just kept thinking that if he left Molly's, then somehow he would miss Gabby. He had so many questions and things he wanted to tell her, but knew that right now was not the time. He just wanted to make sure she was safe, that was his main concern. It would always be his main concern.

"Are you sure you can't think of any other place she might be?" Otis asked.

"If there was, don't you think that I would have thought of it?" Matt shouted not meaning to lose his temper. His mind began to drift to the time he asked Gabby that same question, but that time they were looking for Shay. Then it dawned on him, in times like this the one person that Gabby would talk to was Shay. Without saying another word, Matt grabbed his jacket and took his keys out of his pocket.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you to all of you wonderful readers. I have recieved multiple request to continue this story. I am sorry for delay.

Chapter Six

Matt POV

As he parked his truck in front of the CFD headquarters, his mind raced through what he wanted to tell Gabby. He knew that he may be one of the last people she wanted to see right now, but he didn't care. He knew that no matter what she could possibly say to him, she needed him.

He climbed out of his truck and walked quickly into the building. His heartbeat accelerating with each step he took. He reached for the metal handled and pulled open the heavy doors. If she was here, he knew where he would find her. He just wasn't sure in what state she would be in.

He turned the corner of the short hallway, his eyes located Shay's badge and then moved to the body sitting against the marble wall. He couldn't see her face as she was huddled over with her hands over her face. His heart dropped and his breath was caught in his throat. Even through all the hardships they have faced, he had never seen her like this. It took him a moment to gather the strength to go to her, and when he did he silently took a seat next to her.

"Gabby," he softly spoke her name doing his best not to startler her. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and bring her body into his, but he knew better. He knew that if he touched her, she would have probably told him to go to hell. He knew that it would be best to let her make the next move.

What felt like hours was actually seconds when she decided to acknowledge her presence by lifting up her head. He saw the trails of tears that descended from her beautiful brown eyes. He had only seen that look in her eyes once before, the day Shay had died.

"How did you find me?" she asked quietly spoke. He knew that she was trying to hold everything in. Trying to hide her emotions from him; a classic Gabby Dawson move.

"I know that you go to Shay for everything," Matt simply replied as he held her gaze.

"Not everything," Gabby stated as she looked away. "So now that you found me, you can go."

"I'm not going anywhere," he replied in the same matter a fact tone she had just used. "I'm staying right here. We don't have to talk about anything if you don't want to, and when you are ready to go I will take you home."

"I didn't ask for you to come here, and take care of me. I can take care of myself," she pointed out as she wiped away another tear with the palm of her hand.

"I know, but I am still not going anywhere," he told her again.

"Why?" Gabby simply asked looking at him again, this time confusion filled her features. "Why are you sitting here with me? We aren't together anymore. It's not your job to make me feel better or to console me. You should go back to Molly's and go hang out with that girl."

"I care about you," he said as he shrugged his wanted to stop there, but something inside him told him to just tell her the truth. He took a deep breath before he continued. "I know we broke up, but that doesn't mean that I don't worry about you, or that I have stopped loving you. I guess, I alway will."

Gabby didn't say anything for a moment, Matt wasn't even sure that she heard him until she finally spoke. "Even after tonight?"

"Tonight has nothing to do with what I just said to you."

"Of course it does Matt," Gabby pointed out as she turned her body to completely face him. "You say that you care about me after finding out that I was pregnant before and I never told you. You aren't here because you want to be, you're here because you feel like you should be."

"I know what you are doing right now, and it's not going to work."

"And what is that? Gabby asked.

"You're trying to pick a fight with me in hopes that I will leave, and as I just told you it's not going to work."

"You think you know me so well," Gabby stated as she shook her head.

"I found you, didn't I."

Gabby POV

Gabby didn't say anything, she just leaned her back against the cool wall. Matt was right, she was doing her best to get him to leave, but it wasn't for the reasons he thought. She wanted him to leave because she knew that at some point they were going to have to really talk about why she never told him about Caleb or the abortion. Which would lead to bigger fight later on down the road.

They both sat there for a while before speaking again. Gabby was the first to break the uncomfortable silence by standing up. "I'm ready to go," she stated looking down at Matt.

"Okay," he replied as he climbed to his feet. "I'll drive you home."

"It's okay, I can walk," she said as she moved in front of him.

"Gabby, please let me drive you home. It will make me feel better knowing that you got home safe."

Gabby turned around to say no, but an expression that displayed across Matt's features caused her to stop. She knew that determine look in his eyes, and he wasn't going to take no for an answer. "Okay," she agreed with a nod of her head.

Without another word, they both got into this parked truck. Before starting the vehicle, Gabby watched Matt take out his phone from his pocket. "You left all your stuff at Molly's. I'm calling Brett to let her know that you are on your way home."

"Oh," Gabby replied as she just realized that left everything there.

"Don't worry, Brett took your purse and coat back with her…" Before Matt could finish his sentence Brett picked up the phone. "Hey Brett, it's Casey. I just wanted to let you know that I have Gabby and we are on our way back to your place."

Gabby couldn't hear what Brett was saying, but she saw Matt nod his head in agreement.

"Yeah, thanks Brett," Matt said before he hung up the phone. He placed the phone back into his pocket.

The rest of the ride remained peacefully silent with the engine humming in the background, as if it was a soothing rhythm that drew both of them in to it. With each rotation of the wheels, Gabby wanted to say more to Matt. She forced her eyes to look anywhere else than him, she was afraid of what she might tell him or what he might say to her. She really wanted to tell him how sorry she was for this whole mess. She knew that at some point within in their relationship, she should have told him. But how could she? She had never told anyone. However, Matt wasn't just a friend, he was the person she was going to call her husband.

As Gabby's thoughts began to take over, the sound of Matt's voice broke her away. "We're here," he announced as he put the truck into park.

"Oh," Gabby mumbled as she looked past Matt's shoulder to her apartment across the street. SHe then turned her attention back to Matt. "Thank you for everything you did tonight."

"You would've done the same thing," he replied with the wave of his hand.

A small smile spread across Gabby's face letting him know that she would have if the roles had been reversed. However, she would have peppered him with question after question needing to know why he never told her. Gabby shook her head to rid her from the thought. "I know you have questions," Gabby began to say but was quickly cut off.

"You don't have to explain," Matt stated. "You were right earlier, we aren't together anymore. So, you don't have to justify anything to me."

"I know that, but like you said caring for one another doesn't just disappear. You also said that you know me. Well, Matthew Casey I know you too."

"Yes you do, but now is not the time to get into all of that. I'm just glad that you are okay, and tomorrow we can just keep our focus on the job during our shift."

At the mention of work, Gabby could feel her face go pale. "Oh shit," she gasped at the thought of walking through the doors of fifty one with everyone's eyes on her.

"What is it?" Matt asked with a deep concern in his voice from her reaction.

"I almost forgot that the whole damn firehouse was outside of Molly's. They heard every damn word." Panic, worry, and fear coursed through her entire body.

"Gabby it's going to be okay."

"No it's not. Everyone of them will look at me as this horrible person or worse of all pity me."

"First of all, you're not a horrible person. These people are so much more than just your co-workers they are your family. Second of all, everyone has a past or secrets that they keep to themselves. No one is going to judge you. As for the pity part of your argument, I think you may be confusing that for concern.

"Matt you didn't see the look on their faces," Gabby pointed out as each face displayed in her mind.

"When Hallie died, I thought the same thing. I thought everyone was just feeling sorry for me and what I was going through. I didn't realize it was coming from a place of love and concern." Matt paused for a moment and then looked directly into Gabby's eyes, "You were actually the person to make me realize this."

A tight smile played on her lips, "Are you repaying the favor?"

"No, it's just what we do," It was a simple reply, but it made Gabby feel better. Even if they were not a couple, Matt was still the person she could turn to.

"Well thanks again," Gabby said as she opened the truck door, and began to get out. The cool air smacking her in the face causing a chill to rush down her spine. Gabby walked around the truck, as she was about to cross the street Matt's voice called out to her.

"Hey Gabby," she turned around to find he had rolled down his window. "There was no girl tonight."

Gabby nodded her head, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he shouted back to her with a smile on his face.

Gabby continued to her apartment door. She could feel Matt's gaze on her as she opened the unlocked door and made her way inside. After closing the outside door, she took a deep breath. She needed a moment to herself to get her thoughts collected. She began to walk to her bedroom, but was stopped when her roommate came into view holding two spoons and a tub of chocolate chip cookie dough.

"I thought this was necessary tonight," Brett handed her one of the silver spoons in her hand.

The girls made their way into the kitchen, each taking a seat at the small table opposite of one another.

"So how are you?" Brett asked as she digged her spoon into the ice cream.

"So I guess that's the million dollar question," Gabby replied as she followed Brett's actions and filled her spoon. "I'm angry, embarrassed, and just plain stupid," Gabby sighed before taking a bite.

"You have nothing to feel embarrassed or stupid about. You did nothing wrong."

"It's not that, it's about reliving that part of my life. I'm not proud of the choices I made when I was that person. I thought that if I changed and did something important, then it would go away, and for along time it did. Then here comes Caleb walking back into my life, and everything that I have worked so fucking hard to build comes crashing down around me. And then there is the people in my life now. They know me as I am now, they didn't see me fuck up again and again. I never wanted you guys to this part of me."

"Gabby, no one is thinking of you any different. If anything we love you all the more. Just think about how far you have come."

"I know but there are things that you are ashamed of and this is mine."

"I can't say I know how you feel because I have never gone through the same situation, but when Harrison left me at the altar, I felt some of those same emotions. Every time I saw a friend or family member, they would give me this look and I knew what they were all thinking. It was a constant reminder of what happened. I knew that this would happen again and again, so I decided that I needed to get away. I needed to start over where no one knew my story. And for a while it worked, I was able to distance myself from that other Sylvie Brett. Until the day Harrison came to Chicago and blew my new world up. The crazy thing after everyone found out the truth, they didn't treat me any different. They knew that person I once was, was not the person that stood in front of them. Gabby Dawson you are not the same person standing in front of that clinic."

Without even realizing a single tear began to fall from Gabby's eye. She cleared her throat and then wiped the tear away. "You're a great friend."

"Since I'm such a great friend tell me about you and Casey."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Gabby's POV

Gabby opened her brown eyes to morning sun creeping it's way through her slightly opened window. For a quick moment she was relaxed until all the memories from the previous night flooded back to her like a river during the spring. She would like nothing more than to stay in her bed all day and pretend like everything is fine in her world. Gabby closes her eyes as she reminds herself that she can do this.

A light knock sounded from her closed door, drawing her attention in the direction of where it came from. "Gabby?" Brett's voice quietly asked.

"Come in," She called out as she pulled back her covers.

The door opened to reveal Brett standing there with a cup of coffee. "Morning," she greets as she moved further into the bedroom.

"Morning," Gabby said as a look of confusion filled her features. "Is that for me?"

"Yeah," Brett said handing her the mug. "I just wanted to make sure that you were still coming to work today."

Gabby accepted the drink with a smile of gratitude. "I thought about not going, but then I figured if I didn't go then it would just add more fuel to the fire."

Brett added her head, "I think that you are making the right choice. I'm going to get ready for work," Brett stated before she turned to leave the room.

"Hey Brett," Gabby called out causing the blonde girl to stop and turn to face her. "Thank you for being a good friend."

"Anytime," Brett stated with a reassuring smile and then proceed to go out the doorway.

Somehow Gabby knew that walking into the firehouse wasn't going to be so simple. She knew that the members of house 51 always had her back, but this was something she was never going to share with them. Not to mention that she would see Matt today. His word's from last night still echo in her mind, and she knew that on most levels he truly meant what he had said, but she also knew that even if he wouldn't admit it he wanted to know why she never told him about Caleb and the abortion. She couldn't think about this anymore, she threw her blanket off of her and sat up. She grabbed her towel and moved into the bathroom to start her day.

After a quick shower, Gabby got dressed and grabbed her things to go to work. The ride to work with Brett was quieter than most rides. Gabby knew that Brett was giving her space and allowing her to work through her own thoughts. Her stomach began to twist into knots as the view of the firehouse became visible. Brett parked the car, as Gabby unbuckled her seatbelt. She took a deep breath as she opened the car door and placed her feet on the ground. _I can do this_ , she told herself with each step she took.

Matt's POV

Matt wasn't sure what to expect when it came to Gabby today. He knew that she was going to try and avoid everyone by hiding out in the firehouse. He wanted to support her, but he knew that if he pushed her than she would just close herself off even more. She was right, he did have a million questions for her, and every time he taught about it anger would begin to build up. He had to remind himself that right now wasn't about him, it was about Gabby.

He closed his locker door, and began his short walk to his office. He needed to look over some reports, and sign off on a couple of things. There were some great parts of his jobs, but the paperwork aspect was not one of them. His mind began to race over his checklist as he continued move through bunk room. Before entering his office, his eyes glanced up to Brett and Gabby making their way through to the locker room. His mind instantly went empty of all work business, and his only thought was of Gabby and the other night.

He could see that Gabby was doing her best to avoid direct eye contact with him, but there was no way he was going to allow her to get away with that. "Morning," his voice spoke out to them.

"Morning," Brett said with a smile gracing her fresh face. Matt knew that she was protecting Gabby by taking the heat from her. In so many ways, Matt was thankful that Brett was being Gabby's shield, he just wish that Gabby would allow him to do the job as well.

Matt nodded his head, but his blue eyes never left Gabby's even though she was doing her best to look anywhere but him.

"I'm going to go change," Brett stated as she left the former couple alone.

"So," Matt began, "How are you?"

"I'm fine," Gabby said with tension laced in her voice. Matt could tell she was lying, He could see how tight her jaw clintched, and how high her shoulders raised. Matt wanted to call her out on it, but he knew that if he did it would only make Gabby more defensive.

"About last night," Gabby spoke causing Matt to become surprised. "I just want to say thank you. I know that I wasn't the most gracious person in the world, but it did mean a lot to me."

"I would do anything for you," Matt said knowing that he shouldn't. Silence filled the air between them, Matt could see that Gabby was at a loss of words and so was he. He wanted to rewind those five seconds and choose something else to say, but he couldn't.

He could see that Gabby was about to say something, but before she could get a sound out the doors flung open, and Herrmann instantly appeared. "Morning," he announced as he moved towards them.

"Morning," Matt and Gabby replied in unionsion. Herrmann went directly to Gabby and pulled her into a hug. "I'm glad to see you kid."

"Thanks Herrmann," Gabby said letting air out as he patted her back.

"Come on let's get ready," he said as he kept his arm around her shoulder and guided her into the locker room. Matt's eyes never left Gabby's retreating figure. There was so much more he wanted to say, but like everything else in his life it would have to wait.

Gabby's POV

Throughout the shift she could feel everyone's eyes on her just like she predicted. However, it wasn't judgement she felt through their gazes, it was concern. No one really brought up the incident outside Molly's, and for that she was thankful. They simply asked how she was doing, and offered her their support for anything she needed. Severide even offered his services for an ass kicking, causing her to smile. As each hour of shift ticked away, she began to feel like her normal self.

"So I was thinking that we could build a little stage over in the corner of the bar, and have live bands play," Otis suggested as they looked over some blueprints Matt had developed. Gambby, Herrmann, Otis, and Matt all sat at the table together in the common room as the other members of the house watched tv.

With everything going on, Gabby almost forgot about the renovations at Molly's. If Otis hadn't reminded her that they were going to sit down with Matt today, and go over everything she wouldn't have been there.

"We have already talked about this," Herrmann stated with a shake of his head. "We don't need a live band, it's just a waste of money."

"Well when do you guys want to start?" Matt asked looking at the three owners.

"Will next week work?" Herrmann asked.

"That's fine with me," Matt said as he rolled up the plans. His eyes kept glancing over at Gabby. To be honest, she didn't care one way or the other, she knew that Otis and Herrmann have the best interest of the bar at heart.

As Gabby got to her feet, Connie came into the common room. "Dawson," she called out drawing everyone's attention. "This letter came for you," she said holding out a white envelope. With curiosity Gabby, made her way over to Connie, "thank you," she said as she took the letter. She turned around to see everyone staring at her, with the same inquisitive features she displayed. Without a word, Gabby opened the letter and instantly regretted it. She recognized the handwriting of her own name. With everything she had in her, she wanted to run over to the trashcan and rip the paper into a million little pieces and be done with Caleb, but with everyone looking at her she knew she couldn't do it without them knowing where it came from. Instead, she smiled and folded the letter back up, and placed it into the envelope.

"So who is it from?" Mouch asked breaking the room's silence.

"It's no big deal," Gabby said as she folded the letter and slide it into her pocket.

"Does someone have a secret admirer?" Mouch asked with a raised eyebrow.

Gabby just smiled, as she walked out of the room.

Matt's POV

It seemed that Matt was always watching her leave, and after her reaction to Mouch's stupid comment, he began to fill with jealousy. He knew that he wasn't the only man to see Gabby's beauty, she was stunning and any man with a pulse noticed her. He didn't know if his reaction had something to do with the fact that Gabby didn't tell him about her past or if this was about the fact that she was no longer with him.

Before Matt could dwell on this matter a moment longer the bells sounded, causing every member of the house to stop what they were doing and listening for their company to be called over the loudspeaker. Members of Truck 81, Squad 3, and Ambulance 61 got to their feet and raced towards their waiting vehicles.


	8. Chapter 8

Gabby POV

Gabby folded the letter close for what seemed like the hundredth time since Connie delivered it to her. While on call, she was able to push it out of her mind, but once they made it back safely to 51 she took it out of her pocket and held it in her hands. As she sat alone in the bunk room on her bed, her thoughts began taking her back to the night in front of Molly's, standing there reliving the worse pain she had ever felt in her life. As much as she tried to hide the pain, it bubbled to the surface. The moment she read the contents of the letter, she wanted to rip it into a million pieces just like he done to her heart those years ago, but something stopped her. She didn't know if it was anger, or the fact the letter held the words she had been waiting so long to hear. She opened the letter again, her eyes slowly rereading each word.

 _Dear Gabs,_

 _I know there are no words to tell you how sorry I truly am for the pain that I caused you. I wish I could take it all back and be the person you needed me to be on that day. I was a coward, and for that I will always be ashamed of my actions. I know my apology comes many years too late, but I want you to know there is not a day that goes by I don't think about what I did to you. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I would like the opportunity to apologize in person. If you are willing, I would like to meet for coffee sometime._

 _Caleb_

The tears began to fill her eyes as she took another deep breath. What was she supposed to do now? Seeing him again brought all these emotions back, but she knew that if she didn't get the closure she needed she would never be able to move on, and this weight that now sat on her chest would never be fully lifted.

"Hey," a voice called out to Gabby from the door. She quickly wiped her face, and began to fold the letter back up as Severide began to make his way towards her.

"Hey," she called back hoping that he couldn't hear the shakiness in her voice. Severide stopped when he reached the end of her bed. She knew he could see her tear stained cheeks and red eyes.

He paused before he spoke, "What are you doing in here all alone?" He asked.

"I was going to try to catch some shut eye," Gabby lied hoping that he wouldn't call her out on it.

"Really?" he asked with a slight nod of his head. "I know that it is none of my business, but you say more when you hide yourself away."

"I'm not hiding," she blurted out.

"Are you forgetting who you are talking to? As much as you don't want to hear this Dawson, you and I have a lot in common. I recognize a cop out when I see one."

Annoyance began to fill her features, she wasn't trying to hide out. She just needed time alone to think about what she was going to do. She couldn't make this decision with all the eyes of the house on her, especially a certain blonde lieutenant. Instead of telling Kelly how she was feeling, she did the very next thing she could think of. "Why do you even care?" she asked. She almost saw shock on his face from her reply.

"Because you're my friend and I care about you," he replied.

"You care about me?" Gabby asked with traces of sarcasm in her voice as she stood up from her bed. "Were you not the one pushing Matt into whoring his way through Chicago right after we broke up? Hell, even before then."

"You broke up with him remember?" Severide pointed out crossing his arms.

"You know exactly why we broke up. It had nothing to do with the fact that I didn't love him. All you cared about was having a wing man and somebody to party with. Never once did you take my feelings into account, friend. So, forgive me if I don't want to listen to you tell me about how much you care for me," Gabby stated as she moved away from Severide and out of the bunk room.

Gabby watched as the clock tick down the seconds to her shift. She quickly changed out and began to make her way out of the firehouse.

"Dawson," Herrmann called drawing her attention to him behind her. "Are you going to be available tomorrow afternoon?"

"I should be. Why?"

"Casey needs to get into Molly's to start some construction. The family and I have to head over to the in-laws for some family crap, and Otis has just informed me that he has some challenge thingy to do. I was hoping that you could meet with the distributors, take some inventor, and let Casey in."

"That's fine Herrmann," Gabby told him. "I will take care of it," she said with a reassuring smile. She could take that he hated to ask her to this, but what he didn't know that things like taking inventory kept her busy. And it wasn't like she had to be alone with Casey, he would be working in the front of Molly's while she would be the back.

Matt POV

Matt set his keys down on the counter as he started to go through his mail. He hated how silent this apartment could be, it just reminded him of all the things he once had but let slip through his fingers. What made it worse was when he would get junk mail with Gabby's name on it with the address of the apartment they once shared. He had to stop himself from grabbing his keys and personally hand delivering her mail, just so he could see her. But he knew that it wouldn't make any difference, so instead he threw it out.

The front door of the apartment flew opening and Severide came walking through. Matt could tell that something was bothering him, he became less talkative during shift. Matt tried to think back to something that might have happened on a call that would cause him to shut down, but nothing came to mind. He knew better than to push his best friend into revealing what was the problem.

"You want a beer," Matt asked walking towards the fridge.

"Kind of early isn't it?" Kelly asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"When has that ever stopped you?" Matt replied opening the sliver door and pulling out two bottles. He then grabbed the bottle opener and popped the tops. He handed one over to his roommate. "So, what are your plans tonight?" Matt asked.

"I'm not sure yet. I was thinking about just staying in tonight and watching the Hawks game."

"Wow, is Kelly Severide becoming a homebody?" Matt chuckled as he took a drink of his beer.

"No, I just want a lowkey night."

"Did you lose a bet?"

"Something like that," Kelly replied taking a drink of his cold beer.

Gabby's POV

Gabby sat on the couch in the living room she shared with Brett. With Brett being gone at the gym, Gabby had time to think about what she was going to concerning Caleb. As much as she wanted to tell him to go hell, and not give him the time nor day, she knew that she had to face him. She reached into her pocket and took the letter out. Her eyes immediately went down to the bottom of the page where he left his number. She grabbed her phone and began to dial, as she pressed each number different emotions took their place within her body. Once all the numbers where selected, she calmly pressed dial. She listened as the line rang, each second passing nerves began to set in. On the third ring, she heard his familiar voice.

"Hello," Caleb's deep voice greeted.

Gabby paused before speaking his name, "Caleb," Gabby said knowing that she knew he knew it was her.

"Gabby," he greeted allowing her to take hold over the conversation.

"I got your letter."

"I didn't know where to send it."

"Did you mean it?" she asked bluntly not needing the small talk.

"Every word."

"Why now?" she asked. "Why after all these years are you now trying to apologize."

"I have always wanted to apologize, I just didn't have the courage until know. To be honest with you, I didn't have the courage until I saw you that night in the club."

Gabby didn't say anything for a moment, as she let his words sink in. "What are you getting out of this?"

"Hopefully your forgiveness." He paused before continuing, "I know it is a long shot and I know that you probably don't want to see me, but I was wondering if your free tomorrow? I would like to meet for that coffee, and just talk."

"I'm going to be at the bar all day tomorrow."

"Okay, I'll meet you there."

Before Gabby could explain that wasn't a good idea, the other line of the phone was dead.


End file.
